Devine departure

Emile Jean-Horace Vernet - The Angel of Death     1851

I was baptized Catholic as a child on Ovlera street in The heart of Los Angeles, CA their have been many times were I can remeber as a child in my dreams being in this church running playing as I should I was a kid raised in Mexican culture, I would say mainly due to the fact of having cousins that I loved to play with but now have lost touch through out time, but there have been dreams of my self in this church as an adult 5'9" on my knees kneeling on a pedal stool that the modern Catholic church provides, there  is always a lack of lighting so it never glares my eyes, I see no cross in-front of me but I know why i'm there its not a place I'm scared of but can never figure out why of all places; I'm drawn to a place I care of  that I don't visit.
The image of the walls in this art peace bind me to figure out why out of all images in life has this image stood out like a knife with a double edge but  the man below is me as I pray on two knee's for the care of a broken heart of a woman that I never lost, She is sick and She is dying but she is ready to depart towards a light of the unknown with the gentle hands of an angel that cares so much to make a gentle departure into what we don't know. Is it that I want to feel sadness, if I did choose the right or would  it be better not to have seen this image and never wondered why?.